Insane

tumbling down

2010-02-06T10:48:00.000-08:00

everything goes tumbling down now.. I know I shouldn't have let you into in too deep. Guess I'm just stubborn as it is. however, as far as I'm concerned, when feelings are involved, I can't help myself.. I'm only human.. I'm only woman..

I can't change you, cause you don't want to. No matter how hard I tried.
Now, it all backfired to me now.
What's the point of this relationship we have when we can't even confide with one another?
I don't want morning to come cause I know I ll feel worst. I don't want to face another day like this.

2009-08-12T00:11:00.000-07:00

Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love and suddenly
It's like a battle-field
One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no
These times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like ...
a battlefield (battlefield)
a battlefield (battlefield)
a battlefield (battlefield)
(repeat)
Why does love always feel like

Can't swallow our pride,
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can't surrender
then we both gonna lose what we had, oh no
Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
(nothing)
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again

I don't wanna fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like ...
a battlefield (battlefield)
battlefield (battlefield)
battlefield (battlefield)
(repeat)
Why does love always feel like

You better go and get your armor
(get your armor)
Get your armor (get your armor)
I guess you better go and get your armor
(get your armor)
Get your armor (get your armor)
I guess you better go and get your

We could pretend that we are friends tonight
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright
Cause baby we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like

A battlefield (oh) a battlefield (oh) a battlefield,
Why does love always feel like a battlefield (oh)
a battlefield (oh) a battlefield

I guess you better go and get your armor
I never meant to start a war (start a war)
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for
(fighting, fighting for)

Why does love always feel like ...
a battlefield (battlefield)
a battlefield (battlefield)
a battlefield (battlefield)
(repeat)
Why does love always feel like

You better go and get your armor
(get your armor)
Get your armor (get your armor)
I guess you better go and get your armor
(get your armor)
Get your armor (get your armor)
I guess you better go and get your

Why does love always feel like
(whooaa ooow)
Why does love always feel like
(whooaa ooow)
A battlefield, a battlefield..

I never meant to start a war
Don't even know What we're fighting for
I never meant to start a war
Don't even know What we're fighting for

This song bring the greatest meaning to me now.
We keep on fighting and I'm so sick and tired of it.
Its me. You have been great.
You are not head over heels in love with me, but you love me.
And I don't appreciate you.

2009-08-05T11:33:00.000-07:00

Someone take me away from this misery please...

The conversation we had yesterday hurts me so.
I want you to do the impossible to make everything right.
I dont know what else you can do for me.
Nobody wants to be the leftover.

You will never change even though you've told me a zillion times that you will.

I miss all my friends.

They're drifting away.

Love me tenderly.
Love me unconditionally.
Love me for me.
Even before what I am right now.
Love me before.
Love me now.

Words dont matter to me now.
Maybe cause I trust your words too much that's how I get here.

2009-08-05T11:26:00.000-07:00

"The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore"
-James Morrison

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore

The pieces don't fit here anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

I don't know why

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

The pieces don't fit anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why

Maybe this song explains it all

2008-06-11T01:48:00.000-07:00

Is it love, or are u just someone I need to fill up my loneliness.
Sometimes I am so afraid of losing you but
Sometimes I myself want to stay far away from you.
Maybe its the way that you treat me. It seems that you're not satisfied with
what I am. Then why bother going out with me??
Sometimes I miss you terribly but there's nothing that I can do.
However, whenever you wanted to meet me, I will try my best to be there for you.
I know that you're busy with your stuffs and how bout me? Dont I have a life too.
You told me you love me but have you ask yourself lately?
I may not be the girl that you've been looking0 for but you think that you might be that guy that i have been looking for?
Nobody is perfect. I have accepted and learned to love your flaws and it seems that you cant do the same for me.
Whatever it is, Im missing you badly right now but there's nothing I can do about it.

I need you to show me that you really do love me.
Words has lost its meaning.
Im still the old me.

2007-07-16T03:56:00.000-07:00

To whoever it may concern...

I shall quote the poem I came across...

N it fits perfectly how I feel bout U...

I'm writing this letter to tell you

I don't love you anymore.

I don't miss you.

I never have.

The truth is, I tried, but never found your adoration
anything other than arduous,

your niceties cliched,

your praise thoughtless.

and it has become unbearably obvious
that you love me with all the originality
of romance novels;

But do not be sad,
nothing is lost,
neither of us even loved each other truly-
you only thought you did
and I only wanted to.

Yupe its hard to get over you.
The relationship we had.
And the sudden change in you.
We were both at fault.
A great friendship gone to waste.
I questioned myself, why cant we be just friend in the first place.
That was my mistake.
Should not have lead you on.
Wonder how you get over me that fast.
Maybe its because of her.
Haha.
Whatever.

And here's another one...

I keep expecting you to fade,
to wake up one morning
and not care so I keep myslef
one carefully measured step away in anticipation
of your love's decline

so when your cheek turns and your attention wanders elsewhere
my heart will not be left all awkward
hanging
from elastic thread
you forgot to pull off
your old pair of socks

for it's in your nature to lost interest suddenly
we are both artists who suck the marrow out
of each other lovely bone

it just happens to be
my lovely bones this time

how bare.

Thanks for the love, care and concern you've showered me
No one can ever replace it.
Thanks for the memories
I shall lock it in and put it in a safe place.
Never will I open it.
What over is over.

I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket but Ive got to get a move on with my life

To others,
Sorry for being overly emotional here.

2007-01-28T19:05:00.000-08:00

Im missing someone. So much. That Im even scared.
Im not being myself lately. Need to do some soul searching.
Need to get a job.

2006-07-02T20:06:00.000-07:00

tagged by muya

7 random facts about me.

i can get overly sensitive sometimes.
i tend to get emotional wen im alone.
im short-tempered but nv really show it to frens. (only family members)
i nv talk in class wen i was in k1 till pri3. (wakakaka!)
my wish has always been to turn back time.
i can be ignorant sometimes.
i hate rich bitches.

7 things that scare me.

ALLAH.
doomsday.
loneliness.
death.
the time wen all my frens decide to juz ignore me.
Losing my family members.
Falling in too deep.

7 random music at the moment

creep - radiohead
bathwater - no doubt
maneater - nelly furtado
takkan melupakanmu - radja
buttons - pcd
when im gone - 3 doors down
masih terserlah ayumu - exists (emo. I knw)

7 things or ppl i like the most

family.
closefrens.
bestfrens.
chocs.
pretty notebook.
money.
money.

7 things i say the most

oh shoot!
uhkei.
wohoooo.
big F uh.
to hell.
pasal uh.
niceee.

7 people to do this.

sheila.
leha.
rai.
sof.
aida.
rodie.
weite.

2006-06-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

Alright alright people Doing my chap 5 report now. Supposed to show it by yesterday. Due to my 'smart' way of thinking of excuses, I get 1 more extra day to finish this report. N.. I juz started doing it juz now in the morning! muahahaha! hey. dont blame me. Im a bz woman. khekhekhe. dont even hav time to socialize right frens????
Started teaching tuition. Planned to teach only 1 kid actually till the loving and caring mama of this kid told her sisters and the word spread to all the sedaramara and now guez wad?? I'v got 3 irritating kids to teach with 1 more on the way(might as well I open a sch for the whole family) N including my part-time job N including my sch project. N NOPE B4 ANY1 of u start, I know that sch is much more important k. yeah right "U CAN MAKE IT HUDA! CHIAYO!" considering that most of U peeps have already graduated N STRUGGLING to get a proper job.'OUCH!'. Im thankful that Im still in sch. N still doin wadever im doing now. So stop giving me that pitiful looks wenever school is mentioned k! At least I dnt have to worry about finding a stable 'CAREER' for now. And i dont have to go to the same routine everyday. 'get up at 6 get ready to go to work. Go back at 6' U knw wad I mean. N its not as if im leading an intersting life right now either. BUT at least not as boring as some people.
Im juz sick and tired sometimes. Not by my life but by the people around me.
Sometimes a person character that I dont really favour can really affect me judging another person the same way. Geddit?? NVM.
OK gtg my 'loyal' frens.
Need to finish off my Chap 5. Considering that Im stll in sch, I still have some sch stuffs to do.

Can already feel the distance between us

2006-06-08T20:32:00.000-07:00

Went swimming yesterday.. WUHOOOOooo.. Not much change at the Tamp Swimming complex.. but oklaa.. at least its a nice sight than last time.. been wanting to go swimming since long ago.. I simply cant go swimming by myself.. so paisey.. after much persuasion and ehemm force.. heh.. yaa.. 1 of my closest fren actually agreed to go.. love u the very laa... and thnx for blanja-ing me.... haha
next time we go again k.. or maybe we go for a jog or something.. and u'r suppose to teach me to cycle remember??? then we can go cycling together.. hehe..

2006-06-05T23:37:00.000-07:00

alright alright.. Its been a while..

something to share..

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving.
Therefore, to love is to suffer,not to love is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy is then to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness.

Geddit??? ahaha...
I dont..

2006-04-09T21:21:00.000-07:00

Life can be confusing sometimes. All I can do is juz to take things slow. Juz learn from mistakes.
I've got soo many things to do. Havent been socializing much.
One of my cousin will be getting married this sat. Im sooo gonna mizz him. He was like a brother to me. He was like my bestfriend when i was 5. We throw paper airplane together out the window. He cycled me to school and that was when i actually had my 1st accident on a bicyle. He was like my batman n i was like his robin.
A great guy with superb character. Wonder whether there's still guy like him in the world.
Haizz...

'So, Therefore Im still single'

2006-02-07T23:53:00.000-08:00

The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry. You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones. You are negative, fearful, resistant, doubtful, and/or selfish. You are not very reserved, impatient, self-confident and fond of action. You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

HA HA HA... so untrue.... issit???

2006-02-02T02:09:00.000-08:00

The celebration was AWEEe-sOMEEE..... Never expect anything for this year actually.. Was really touched and was really on the verge of cryin... cheehh... im not that emolaa... but really.. I lovee my frens... The Seoul Garden was really fab laa... and the gifts.. haha!!! Thanks for the bag n the organizer n the super cute/sexy underwear.... camner korg tau ni that i need new undies nik huh huh?!... Ha ha.... Received wishes from frens.. Old frens, new frens, frens that i dont contact much.. It was really nice actually.. It felt good to know that someone actually remember your birthday.... Im really thankful..... realLY... Had a couple of birthday surprises from my dear frens.. First it was at the school concourse... ya ya... I didnt expect it ok.. N thanz 4 sabo-ing me gals... eventhough it wasnt that much laa... n the 2nd one was from my dear dear colleagues...haha.... Was really touched... N ya.. i was kindoff silly to not know it even after hanisa start blabbering about some vcd/dvd thingy... Was kindoff sad actually coz my dear roddie wasnt there.. its one of the bebz missing.. if u'r reading this gal.. i hope u'r ok now n not angry or anything....

Thx nooreen 4 the bracelet and the sweet touchin letter... I love u all u know.. REeaallyy...

Something hit me hard in the head.. This week will be like the last week we'll be lunch-ing together... gawdd.. how time flies... I will really really really miss all of them... They're like the most fun bunch of group that i'v ever had. Really hope we'l still meet each other often even though thy'r out of school.

Suddenly feel so lonely out here

2006-01-21T18:30:00.000-08:00

Hie.. Mobile blogin again... Workin nw... Hvin brk.. I tell u 1ce my bil cme it'l b a bomb... Wrkin with kak khai n bedah.. Edmund is here with 2 trainee.. Cn u imagine.. D place is sOo small n thers like 6 ppl inside.. So cramped.. I nd maney seh.. So damn broke... Only cn wrk 1ce a wk.. Hw pathetic is tat.... K.. Gtg.. Brk time over.. Cya! Im so confused nw.. Helppp......

2006-01-18T23:58:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i thnk i giv in too much... I cnt believe what i have got myself into...

Hudaaaa.... stop cheating on my own feelings please....

Do whatever u want.. I dont care..
ehhh waitt... Do i????

2006-01-18T22:55:00.000-08:00

Ok... Mobile blogging again.. Been wanting 2 do this bt been experiencing sum malfunction on dis phone... Was expecting dis guy frm d company tat im doin my project on jz nw.. N guez wad.. I fell asleep.. Ya.. I was slpin when my supervisor walk in d door with d guests... N d funny thng is after 11wks in ther, that was d 1st tim i fell aslp in d lab... Ha.ha. Of all tims.. Luckily i woke up jz in tim.. I guez.. Jz hpe tat d guests ddnt c me slp...
Life works in a funny way.... Right.. Real funny....

2006-01-03T19:49:00.001-08:00

most of my entries are complaints.. i dont care.. its my blog n i'll do wad i like....

i hate my last sem classmate.
i hate my last sem lecture mate. tell them to go n kick each other asses.
i hate my gp members.
i hate karina. tell her to juz go n die.
i hate the other woman with specs who is also in charge of sip. she can kill herself with karina.
i hate being late. n i am forever late.
i hate my supervisor.
i hate the people in my lab.
i hate the people around me.
i hate the project that im supposed to do. its soo crappy that im wasting my damn time.
i hate school.
i hate my school system.
i hate work.
i hate the management.
i hate orders.
i hate my managers.
i hate airport.
i hate coffee bean for paying me so little.
i hate rich kids.they think they can be sooo snobbish.
i hate boys.
i hate being blur.
i hate not knowing something that im supposed to know.
i hate people who dont bother to 'layan' me.
i hate people who stares at me.
i hate people who tells and doesnt listen.
i hate bad comments about me.
i hate people who dont care.
i hate irresponsible people.
i hate being broke.
i hate expensive things.
i hate to dream and not achieve it.
i hate bad days.
i hate being stress.
i hate my love life. it suckssss.
i hate u.
i hate the feeling of not being accepted sometimes.
i hate the 'big' people.
i hate discrimination.
i hate some of my frens sometimes.
i hate people who 'acts' friendly.
i hate overly sensitive people.maybe sometimes i am. but i dont care.
i hate my attitude sometimes.
i hate me sometimes.
i hate feeling like this.

ok....dont come near me... i may bite....

2005-12-13T17:51:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i just dont know how to express myself...
AAAaaaarrgghh...... Can I scream out loud now????

2005-12-07T01:50:00.000-08:00

I think Im in love....
N it felt soooo wrong....

I AM STRAIGHT!!

2005-12-01T14:56:00.000-08:00

I realised that the world is very small..
Everyone is connected to someone you know eventually..
Im actually amazed by it...
Your future husband may even be ur mom's long-lost-kampung-bestfriend's cuzz, brother or even son...
Or even he can be this girl-that-u-dnt-really-favour-in-primary-school's
brother......

Sooo many things have been happening lately.. unexpected things actually.. Something that I would never even think would happen to me.....
But some things are juz not meant to be shared...

Cant work more days now... coz of this sip thng....
N I REEeeallyy need to workk.. Anyone want any tuition???? can only teach primary n secondary subjects... NO humanities and secondary science plzzz...

Im extremely broke right now.... Havent felt this 'kering' in my life for sooo long.....
I wanna go shopping.........
I wanna buy new pantss..
I wanna buy new clothes...
I wanna buy new bag....
I wanna buy new shoess......
I hvnt even give my share for the chalet food.....
MAAANNNNEEEEEYYY........ I need you.... Even I know that you are the roots of all evil...well most of it.... I cnt live without youuu.....
ok ok ... I shall stop now........

'Juz wanna tell u hw much i luv ya..
Its reali a deep feelin i cant xplain..
Thx 4 bein der 4 me..
Thx 4 listenin 2 my crap n my prob all dis while..
N im glad our path crossd..
Lets hp dat our frenship last till d end!'

2005-11-18T16:24:00.000-08:00

SIP SUckss... Alot...
And it has only been a week.. Dammit.....
Apparently my supervisor are good and strict at the same time..
No playing games..
No newspaper in lab..
No one else is allowed in the lab...(hw am i goin to invite my frens over to hang out?!!)
No sleeping..
Internet is strictly for research...
They dnt even have msn...
Can u believe it?? Can u...
God... Please hellppp mee...
And ya.. me.. not having enough sleep nowadays(Due to certain reasons) have to sit there infront of the blank screened comp(no internet connection) and read some boring books about RF wave...
Im sooo going to sleep soon................

2005-09-18T18:19:00.000-07:00

Alright.. Tryin to post this by usin my hp.. D luxury of technology.. Haha

2005-08-29T18:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the day when i really open my eyes to see the other side of her. When to warong with her. Thought there will only be her collegues, but someone alse was there.
Ok.. He is her collegue. But ddnt expect her to do what she did yesterday... The respect that I had for her all this while are gone. Cnt she think for once?? Sometimes I wish i could juz come up to her and slap her face... hard..
The collegues, they were ok.. tried to talk to me and offered me something to drink, but me, being in my so not in a good mood self, refused to.
So I juz sat there in the corner doing nothing. Awkwardness. They were like so minah n mat.. well some of them.. Haha.. It surprised me abit actully to knw that she actually knw that kind of people..

Its been awhile actually since i went to warong.. N really do wanna go again soon. This time with my friends...

I juz wanna break free..

2005-08-07T14:36:00.000-07:00

heyy..
come across this blog..
checkitoutt..

http://www.thesecondholocaust.blogspot.com/

this person should be executed.......

2005-07-28T13:56:00.000-07:00

At last.. I'v achieved what I had been wanting to do
since last year..
Went exercising in the morning juz now..
Wakaka...
Yeap I did wake up early for that (well partly).. Yeahh....
Planning not to go artsapp later....
My aims..
-finish off my scs project by this wk
-to complete studyin for my mcom by fri....
k.... hopefully it'l be fullfilled.... juz need to displine dear 'young' me..
heh heh..
ehh i am young okeyy......

planning not to go artsapp later..

2005-07-27T21:32:00.000-07:00

Went to school juz to find out that my class is cancelled......
Tryin to look on the bright side here..
At least Im up early... Already clean myself up n everythng..
Already made my bed.. N it's like 930am now...
Wahaha..
It felt soo goooddd..
A nice start for today..
Except for the part that i have to go to school for nothing n back home..
YEahhh.. khekhekhekhe..

2005-07-21T15:46:00.000-07:00

ouu yaaa.. there's this cat at my corridor this morning..
she's sooo cute... miz my cat.. i'll post the pic if i hav time..
chiioooozzz

Everything seems to have changed

2005-07-21T15:35:00.000-07:00

waitin 4 my artsapp.. kindoff nervous since we'r gonna do drama today..
shouldnt be actually... juz that most of the peepz in the class r the biz bitches..
juz browsed thru friendster.. maann.. i sure do mizz alot.. yupe.. dnt expect my fren
to tell me everythng that's goin on in their life.. but sometimes.. there r thngs u r supposed to
tell.... kindoff sad actually.. wadtodo.. wnt let it bring me dwn though.. yeah...

N ya.. to nooreen i knw its kindoff late but.. really hope u can get over it soon....

im gonna live my life now...

2005-06-27T14:52:00.001-07:00

Its been awhile since i blog.. no mood to blog.. i do hav time but wenever im in this page, my mind will b in an auto-blank mode.... Told aida that i'l meet her last 2 days... movie marathon at her house.... sorrie gal... cnt make it.. n ddnt even tell u..

there's this barista olympic thng goin on for the east district this sunday...
wanna go gals??

School is gettin boring day by day...

no mood to work...

feel like doin sumthng extreme..... maybe run along the beach at night..

anyone up to it?? i dun thnk so...

haizzz....

2005-05-31T15:52:00.000-07:00

thers this cute guy usin the comp next to me...

my gawdd... bt he look like a foreigner....frm china maybe...

but he's soo cute... its rare to find cute guys frm china.... mannn....

cnt stop glancing at him... hopefully he wnt notice it....

so smart... he dun look like a student here.. dnt knw where the hell he come frm...

ouu maan...no no.. he's leavin..

dun leaveeeeee...... shoooottt...... fine.. BYE..

may i c u ard....

ouu hair ouuu hair.. please grow back fast........

2005-05-31T05:01:00.000-07:00

Jz finish my bnt tut ... at the lib with the badot n the monyet.....

Still hvnt done my research on collage.. this suckss..

n nw badot is beside me.... hahaha.. read this... baDOT BADIGOL...

Wakakakaka....

2005-05-30T14:29:00.000-07:00

typing using d on screen keyboard nw... gawd its so leceh...

doin research on collage 4 my artsapp actually. d comp is damn slow... dun knw y..

n they'r havin this singin comp outside lib... eeuw..terrible.....

dun knw y i refuse 2 type usin d keyboard..

dis on screen keyboard is gettin on my nerve.

thnk gonna stop nw b4 i go bonkers.....

waiting n watin n waitin n waitin n waitin n waiti....

2005-05-25T14:40:00.000-07:00

I juz saw this guy.. whos ehair is like wOOOO... haha.. its comforting to knw that im nt the only one whose havin a bad hair day.. wakakakaka...

2005-05-25T14:23:00.000-07:00

Carrie won the singaopore idol.. dammnn.. Bo is SOo much better.. Maybe i shuldnt support Bo in d 1st place.. if i 'pretended' to support Carrie then Bo wuld win.. Everythng that i want or expected dnt seem to go my way nowadays.. its as if whatever i expect turn out to be the other way round.. U get wat i mean? if dun then fark it..

At last, took my upgrading test after 2 yrs ++ of wrkin there.. but i dun get to take the 2nd paper.. n i did study... fuck Pamela.... its not fair.. she shuld at least let me try the 2nd paper right, right? to thnk about it, im wastin my time n energy.. n its not even school stuff... juz for a freakin 50cents... fuck her again ah..

Im soo nt in a good mood nowadays.. my sister is more annoying than ever.. juz lookin at her face irritates me.. Feel like smacking her..haha.. im bad..

Had my hair cut yesterday.. N its SSOO freakin ugly... mann.. i look like an ostrich even after she styled up my hair.... yah.. get ready to laugh wen u see me... watt i really want rght nw is for my hair to grow back..FAST...

School was ok... juz that now i need to change my attitude n set my priorities right...

i dun even feel like comin to school juz nw.. jz becoz of the stoopid haircut.. n nw i'v been tryin to avoid seeing ppl that i knw frm seeing me...... dun giv a damn anymore.. u can laugh all u want..

the long awaited moment..

2005-05-24T12:21:00.000-07:00

WOOohooOO.. ma blog is ok.. dnt knw wat was wrong with it last time..
but it's ok now... maybe muya help me with it... if she did thnx a zillonx!! weeeee...

BLEAAARGHH...

2005-04-20T16:57:00.000-07:00

TESTING TESTING..

2005-04-12T18:06:00.000-07:00

There's nothng between us...

You are no longer in my life... so BE GONE....

Im goin to live my life nw...

BACKKK....

2005-04-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

Yeap.. Change my blogskin.. thankx to Muyoyeeh.... n its been a while since i blog.... wat can i do.. im a bz womaaan (yeah rght) .... Wakakaka..

Seems to b some error on the tagboard.... i'l tyr n get it fixed.....

Workin at t1dt was ok.. its always 1+1.. so nv had the change to work with any of the staff.. only get to work with them if im attached to t1t.. The manager there is ok.. get along with them well..

Been bz lately.. bt no idea with watt.. i'v been wrkin wrkin n wrkin.. n wen im nt wrkin i'll b at home watchin tv.. BOOOORIING.. Haizzz...

Been thinkin about him lately.. I hate it wen this happened.. its been like a yr plus plus n he's still in my mind.. n we werent even together in the 1st place.. Guess it'l take a longer time than i expect for me to forget him huh.... haha.. n as if its nt bad enuf.. he's online nw... chat with him for awhile.... haizzz.... *gone for a few seconds*

K let not talk bout him.. talked to Weite yesterday.. mizz him maann.. goin to meet him dis sat.. n he's goin to blanja me prata.. at LAST.. heh heh...

Been so emo lately.. about so many things.. or maybe its bout my life itself.. Haizz.. Crapp... Its juz the way life is... dun feel like sharin it here.. maybe next time... or maybe there are some stuff that are not meant to be shared.......

Seems like everyone is busy with their own stuff.. i am so alone..... haha..
bt its ok.. i'll survive....

Till next time

still missing him, wish i culd see him again....

BOO!! =p

2005-02-22T19:22:00.000-08:00

WOOOooohoo... 1 assignment down!! 4 more to go... weeee... 5% of my stress gone.. I need to relieve myself... woaaaa... :p
Yesterday was the day when the staffs of T2T CBTL clear up the place.. RoddiE, Aida n Fanana worked yesterday.. If it wasnt for the presentation that im supposed to have today i wuld have work... Im goin to miss the place sooooo much... N the peeps..... That place really changed me... I'v made alot of frens during the 2 yrs working there.... Learnt alot of things bout life.... Eventhough i have to admit that part of me is relieved that T2T is goin to close down.. The place is like slamming most of the time.. N most of the time there werent enough baristas working....

But I am SOOOO goin to miss the place.. very much... Especially the baristas N managers.. We'r goin to get separated.. Haizz... Things will nv b the same again... Aida, RoddiE, Fanana.. hope things wnt change btwn us.. esp Aida who's goin to T2D while the rest of us will be goin to T1DT.......... Gonna meet new peeps.. meet new frens.. Soon T2T staffs will b drifting apart....

Its juz the way life is....

No more wrkin with Aida...

No more working with the regular midnite staff...

No more Lawson (HAHA!! COOLZ)...

No more Lynn's nagging n twisting my arm =p...

No more usual slam...

SOOO GONNA MIZZ THEM!!...

2005-02-14T18:39:00.000-08:00

I actually cabot my TELAB class hehe.. heeyy its not my fault ok.. It's boring n my partner is not coming...well not entire my fault...

After quite sometimes we actually made it to starbux to chill.. with special guest.. ISSSSHAKK.. heh heh.. that joker.. had a good laugh.. eventhough i was kindoff quite at that time.. coz i kindoff juz woke up frm sleep n was still very sleepy.. n the idea of getting to work again..isskkhh.... N so at last we actually get to 'talk' about us.. well not really.. its juz Roddie who did the talkin.. anyways... Roddie told us that she love us.. WOAA SOO SEWIITT... ingatkan aper yang dier nak 'talk'..
haha... n so i did told her in msn that i also need to talk the girlss bout us.. I was blurr at that time actually so wen its time for me to talk i juz said nothing... actually its not only blurr.. its juz that i really dnt knw where to start n watt to say..

N thanks to Roddie she actually said it for me.. Anyways its not exactly that i feel that im not needed or something when im with u girlls.. its juz that i feel that sometimes we dont have as much fun that we had last time.. well.. maybe its juz me.. i dnt knw.. Well no offence girlss.. i love u all very much... N i hope n pray that we will stay close till we get old..........

2005-02-12T20:06:00.000-08:00

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Cnt update coz of this comp.. BUT after my itchy hands did something to it nw I can.. weeeeeeeeee......;p OK .. something happened at work juz nw.. n only the guys tt worked with me know.. actually i know tt somethng is goin to happen even before i came to work yesterday(i was working midnight) nt goin to tell what happened here.. Those who want to k-po k-po can ask me urself WAHAHAHA...
Was surprised tt i received a lot of prezzies for my b'day this year.. its nt that im nt thankful.. juz tt i feel kindoff awkward.. :p but im really thankful though.. heh heh .. thanks to Ween, Dayah, Khalidah, Hanisah, Peggy, Belinda, Wahyu for the wonderful presents tt they gave me.. Totally luurvve it... to Ainul, Shah and Ween again for the beautiful earrings and top(luurrrvvee the earrings) ;p... to Fifie who gave my the bodyshop set..now i can smell like mango candy.. heh heh.. to Mus n Kak Sera for the top(beautiful) n CDs.. Kak Ajil for the swatch watch (hopefully i'll be more punctual now *grins*).. to Kak Ajil's boyfie for the cake.. to Sheila, to Farihan n Sallehan for the shocking gift (which im nt goin to mention here)... to my ever dearest frens Sofia, Farah n Rai for the bag, nail polish, lip balm, n top(niiiceeee...n next time we really shuld go out more n take more picture..heh heh)... n my dear dear cbtl bitches RoddiE, Aida, Farnana n Hanisa.. heh heh.. Thanks for the cake.. ;p...... and also not forgeting everyone tt remembered my birthday.. Jamilah, Siddique, the cbtl guys... Thanks for the wishes

Ok so now.. Workin later..*yawnnnnnnnnns*.. so tired.. but goin to settle the problem tt happened yesterday.. hopefully the plan will work out...

2005-02-01T01:19:00.000-08:00

YEAhhh.. Thanks to my cuzzie wuzzie(sounds familiar gerrlss)... I got a new skin.. Its niicceee.. Thanks a millions cuzzie.... ;p

Juz Not my day

2005-01-19T16:39:00.000-08:00

Somehow or another i choose to fall sick during the term test... Arrghh...

Lost my f**king handphone on my way back home yesterday.. went back to sch at ard 6pm to study....
Remember taking it out of my pocket at the bus stop to look at the time.. Guess it slipped out of my pocket in the bus... haizzz...It dnt really affect me much though.. But wat worries me is the numbers in the phonebook.. i mean how the hell am i goin to retrieve back the numbers in there.. haiizz.. as if my life arent miserable enough.
Waited for my sis on my void deck for 1 hr.. I end up goin thru n fro the mama shop juz to change my 20cents to 10cents.. as if she hadnt help me much she refuse to answer my calls... damn it..
if my sis happens to read this (which i doubt she will) .... THANKS AN AWFUL LOT... N i wuld also like to take this opportunity to thank my father (which i also doubt he'll b reading this) ThANKS A LOT for everything... without u i wnt be leading my life this way.. ...

mind over matters.........

2005-01-11T18:38:00.000-08:00

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul.You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.
You have great vision and can be very insightful.In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.
Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

2005-01-09T14:04:00.000-08:00

feel so shagged... Think i had too much sleep....Work on Friday midnite N SUPPOSED to work on saturday midnite... but something cropped up last min...... so... asked Zac to burn for me songs.. he n Izan end up coming to my house to pass the discs... damn... was SO PAISEY.... was in my pyjamas.... on msn.. suddenly.. "ASSALAMUALAIKUM....ASSALAMUALAIKUM.." Tot it was my cousin.. so i juz took my time to get to the gate.. wen suddenly i get a better view.. Zac in his cbtl uniform n Izan as usual in his t-shirt n seluar katok.. isskkhh..
i was like... maann.. LUCKILY i was wearing somethng decent at that time.. but still.. PYJAMAS!!? They did called me.. bt coincidentally the time they choose to call me was the time i choose to turn my handphone to the silent mode... DAMNN... k k.. U hav no idea hw piasey i was... but im cool now.. :p yeah....

No MOOD..

2005-01-05T13:27:00.000-08:00

Maaann... wats wrong with me?? No mood nowadays.... All i want to do is sleep.. no mood to go to sch.. no mood to work...no mood to go out.. no mood to smile.... no mood for everything.... chiesss.... Guess im juz tired.. overworked i guess.. wakey up huda!! SOMEBODY SLLAP ME!! I'v been walking around sch with this "dnt u dare look at me face..." PMS?? NAAAH.... Its nt that.. daamnn.. but hey.. dnt worry if u see me ard juz talk to me.. i'll be back to my normal crappy self.. once i found someone to talk to........

Ok.. So.. went out with that irritating ass yesterday.. Been persuading me to go out since last few mnths.. So coincidentally when he called yesterday i was at home.. forced myself to go watch movie with him.. MEET THE FOCKERS.. Its damn funniE.. Its been quite sometimes since i watch comedy..
after the show i went straight home.. the sooner i get away frm him the better.. ahahaha!! Am i mean or watt.. :p.. he's juz irritating.. u hav no idea... perangai macam budak budak... GROW UP!! Then at night my FREN, Taufiq, called.. turns out that he knw this irritating asshole... they're neighbour,workin the same job n was in the bus together on the way to wrk.. isskkhhh... Told Taufiq that i went out with that irritating ass.. then suddenly he passed the hp to him.. maann.. i was SHOCKED.. dammn him... not a wise thng there...... Well he did feel guilty after that.. naa... forgiven him.... so Taufiq if u happened to read this.. Don't feel guilty bout it.... Im over it...... peace..... im out of here....

PIC AT THE CHANGI JETTY!!

2005-01-04T12:15:00.000-08:00

pic of the changi jetty sail boats....

someone caught that...n its still alive..maan....

ME!!

RoddiE, me n Farihan... too bad Sallehan cnt be in the pic....

HAPPiE NEW YEAARR

2005-01-03T14:54:00.000-08:00

I knw its kind off late.. but watt the heck.. HAPPIEE NEW YEARR.. !!

So.. went to downtown east to countdown.. it was BOORINGG.. they played techno... can u believe it.. isskkhh... went to ishak's chalet after that.. nothing much actually but at ard 6.30 AM we decided to go to the changi jetty.. it was damnn nice.. very peaceful.. our plan was actually to watch the sunrise... but we were too late.. haha..
nevetheless it was a very nice view.. k k.. late for class.. damnn BNT lab..
hate it to the core...

P.S. to my dear fren Sidiq.. thankz for the treat.. Next time it'll be my treat.....

Not sure...

2004-12-28T11:12:00.000-08:00

WEll as usual.. Im in the library..AGAIN.. The tsunamis disaster is everywhere.. my condolences to the family that were invovled...

K.. I hvnt update this for quite sometimes... Got some prob with my comp at home.... But then again my comp is always giving me prob.... Goin to change my blog skin soon.. once i have the chance....

Not being myself lately.. Y?? I dnt knw..... Im hoping that somebody would tell me what's wrong with me....

2004-12-22T12:29:00.000-08:00

Its a wonder why is it when u need someone to be there whenever u'r alone they're always wernt there... but when u want to be alone everyone will start coming to u.. haiizz...

2004-12-15T11:05:00.000-08:00

OK... So here I am AGaIN in the library with nothing to do..... No one in msn..means no one to disturb and irritate.... Haizzzz.... N I still havnt finish with this blog.... Its like everything is not right here... MUYA... WHER R THOU?? I need ur helpp.........

2004-12-13T21:43:00.000-08:00

Haaiiiyaa.. got some prob doing this thing..
Someone..anyone..HEEELLPPP......